The big 3-0

Well!.....

I made it to 30.

I have not had an easy life and it's amazing to think I've made it 30 years so far.

I just read my older posts and they were so interesting to read now years later.

It reminds me of reading my diaries as an adult that I wrote in when I was a kid.

My sister just started a blog and so I thought I would read my previous posts and that got me to wanting to write an update and then think of different topics I can write about.

I never formally introduced myself or said what I liked or anything so I might do that now!

My name is Jana and now I am 30 years old.

I have a cat named Nemo and I am in a commited relationship full of love and I am very happy.

I love babies and animals and always baby animals! I love singing and do so everyday, I like to go bowling but don't do it much anymore at all these days bc of my back pain.

I'm always looking for new movies and tv shows to watch and books to read.

I love shows and books that keep me hooked every episode or chapter I have to watch or keep reading.

A friend of mine told me a few years ago that her best years so far were her 30s so I'm excited to see what my 30s will bring and leave my 20s behind!

I wasted a lot of my 20s on a silly immature boy and I do regret that. People have told me it wasn't a waste of time because I learned from it but I see it differently.

I feel like it was a waste of time because it was.

Anyways!

I'm all about getting rid of the trash!

Speaking of which!

Lately I've been really wanting to purge a lot of stuff and have been and it feels great!

I don't want to have so much stuff anymore. I want to do more traveling which I love and go see some more of the places on my list to see!

I've done a lot but always want to go do more!

Lego House

To you.. You know who you are. This is a wonderful song.


I'm gonna pick up the pieces,
And build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And colour you in
If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall

And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking, and it's more than I can take

And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend you and I'll keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down

[Album version ending:]
And out of all these things I've done I will love you better now

[Music video version ending:]
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now
I'm out of touch, I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done I will love you better now

Hey Everyone!

It's been a while since I have been on here and I thought it was about time.

Update:

I have been working out 3 days a week and hot tubbing.. I still have to deal with all of my health issues on a daily basis and nothing has gone away.. I am hoping that after 6 months max I will feel extremely better.. Hey! Nothing happens overnight! I have been at it for about 2 months now and I am going to stick with it and I have.

Nemo is doing good his birthday is in two days and he will be 7 years old. I can't believe it! I still remember like it was yesterday when I first got him.. Nemo is my cat for all those who don't know..

 Anyways...

That's all for now stay tuned..

Long Overdue Post

First of all I can't believe it's the end of August already. Summer is winding down. I can't believe summer is just about over. We really don't get much summer here, since we started late again this year like we did last year.

I also want to add a tad bit about people again. I have encountered and dealt with some interesting people lately and so far this year. You think you know someone and then they do something completely out of character and it just doesn't make sense. It's really sad.

Friends you have known FOREVER and you all of a sudden don't hear from them anymore? Like I said people don't make any fucking sense. BTW if you don't like my language, don't read my blog!

People tell you one thing then an hour later, or a week later they tell you something completely opposite? Or they say one thing and do another?

I don't think people understand nor care about other people's feelings. Seems like a lot of people these days are extremely selfish, only care about themselves or what is going to benefit them.

I have been dealt a horrible deck of cards thus far in my life and a lot of people I have had to deal with don't make anything better by being stupid assholes.
This horrible deck of cards I am referring to..
that's a whole other posting to follow this one.
Thanks for reading and please comment!

Pain

Pain sucks. It really really sucks. I have tried so many things to deal with pain and relieve pain. I have tried pain pills, pain patches, physical therapy, acupuncture, heating pad, ice, and hot tub. Some stuff helps but causes other problems and some stuff doesn't help at all.

Being in pain all the time is very tolling on a person. It makes me feel depressed bc most of the time I am unable to do much at all. I wish I could just feel better.

It is so hard to deal with other people in regards to my pain since apparently some people think I am faking it. To those people whom I have come across, you will have no idea how much pain I am in on a daily basis or what I have to go through until you have been in my shoes or have had a similar experience yourself.

Dealing with all the health issues that I have to deal with causes me to feel worthless because I can't work.
I can't work for the following reasons, my health issues make it hard to stand up for more than 30 seconds, sit for more than 30 minutes, and I am stuck in bed most of the time due to pain and or side effects from medicines that I am on.

I have worked in the past and I have been fired from jobs for being sick, not being able to come in to work due to being stuck in bed in excruciating pain, and being in the hospital.

I just wish people had more compassion and understanding of what I am going through. I have come across some who understand and even if they don't they have the compassion of wanting to understand and are there for me whether it be family or friends. On the other hand I have come across people who think I am lazy? Or whatever they may have said, but that is definitely not the case.

My hope for the future is that I can find something that works for me to help the pain I have so that my life can improve for the better. To this day, I have still not found that one thing. It's hard to do because I am trying to manage 5 different health issues. While one might be under control for example while I have gone to physical therapy usually...I say usually ...my migraines get reduced to just daily headaches, sometimes those migraines still pop up. Once I stop physical therapy, muscles tighten up again and migraines come flooding back in. It's proven in the past to just be a bandaid, since I have fibromyalgia this is always going to happen, pain in all my muscles in the body. There is no cure for it and the doctors don't fully understand it either.

Please comment on this I would like to hear suggestions if anyone has tried something that works for them. Thanks for reading.

Fibromyalgia

Not a lot of people can understand how it is to live on a day to day basis with fibromyalgia. I have come in contact with a LOT of people who have NO clue what I am going through. Fibromyalgia is a very debilitating condition that affects 5 million Americans and of those 90% are women. People with Fibro are 3-4 x more likely to suffer from depression as well. People suffering from Fibromyalgia generally have other health conditions as well.

If you have a number of health issues like I do, it makes it hard to enjoy life or even be comfortable on a day to day basis. Being in constant pain is no picnic. Generally any medicine you can take for pain will also cause you to be sleepy, not making it easy to get stuff done.

I want people to be more aware of this condition and have some compassion for people who do have it because we need the support.

What is wrong with people today?

Seriously.. There must be something in the water... It seems lately that people are just basically complete assholes who only care about themselves. I always offer to help my friends when they need help, but when I need help people are not willing or offering. Some people who call themselves my friends are acting very immature. It's like I'm not good enough to be your friend bc I don't do some of the things you do which are so high school? I have grown up, so should you.

I don't understand why people who are you friends would ignore your messages and calls when you reach out to them to hang out. Like they only want to when its convenient to them. Or maybe it's because they don't understand what you are going thru, so they just make judgements on stuff they have no clue about. I have no idea.. But I just wish they would open their eyes and have some compassion.